wednesday

The one thing about today was that I had to keep asking what day it was. It's like any crisis where the days begin to run together.

It was rainy today and I was really wondering how I was going to get out of taking the kids to see Harry Potter 6. They've only been looking forward to it all summer and today was raining and they had no plans and I was dreading it. But somehow they didn't ask. Nor did they ask to go to any stores. Instead they asked for a play date. The best things in life really are free.

Malaya came over. Malaya is a little girl who at some point had the potential to be a bitchy "it-girl", but turned nice. Her parents got divorced, her mother moved out, and suddenly the little vixen whom I never wanted in my home turned sweet. She likes to help me bake. She includes Eli in their games. She got Mira a stuffed cat for her birthday. Two years ago it was a Bratz doll. Anyway, a few minutes before Malaya was to arrive her dad called me nearly in tears. Malaya needed to rest due to a scuffle with her older brother. Ian, Malaya's brother, from what I've heard, is not a good kid. I'm afraid to imagine want he did to her. The pain in the father's voice was enough to convince me that we are lucky to have the troubles that we do.

I told the kids at the beginning of the week that they could pick out a treat from the pool only once this week. Today was the day they chose. I really had to tell them 50 times that today will be the only day. This is good for all of us. There's no need for the daily pool treat. I told them to each choose an ice cream that cost a dollar. No one complained. I am already seeing that they are going to whether this okay. Thank God for them.

Jeff and I had a big hug this morning. It was the first time we touched each other since Friday. We also gossiped and talked about other stuff today. I think we may get through this. I think even though it sucks it may be good that this happened-- we are entering a new stage of human development.

I talked to Levia today. I don't feel any need to advertise this or to talk it to death but I feel about a million pounds lighter since I talked to her. I got what I needed: a nonjudgmental sympathetic and helpful ear. She's been there and was full of tips and optimism but mostly she listened and didn't judge and some of the heaviness is gone.