my first day

Typical, I guess. My first entry, my first foray into entering this brand new world and every word was lost.

It was good too, good raw writing and since I think it contained absolute critical information I will quickly summarize so I can move on with my life.

Mira said that she wanted to be a mother when she grew up just a mother.
I congratulated myself using somewhat convaluted logic that this must mean that I am an exceptionally good mother, especially because I bake cookies, even though I also yell and hide from my kids and work.
I remembered that I too wanted to be a mother when I grew up and that I too had a fantastic mother whose chocolate chip cookies were out of this world.
My mother also worked which was okay with me, she was still mostly a mom.
She was divorced and this was absolutely not okay with me. When I grew up I wanted to be a mom who made great cookies and danced and read stories but who was married.
I also wanted to be a writer.
I wanted to be a writer mainly because I really love to read.
I mean I really, really love to read probably more than anything else in the world.
My whole life I have used books as a kind of protection from the world.
The worst thing that ever happened to me, the defining moment of my life, was the fact that my parents were divorced. I used books to cope with this.
Then they died. Both of them. This has been much worse, but I am very grateful that I had them both and that they did not die when I was a kid.
I am blogging now because I have always wanted to be a writer but somehow I became a teacher, and a mother and a director of congregational learning.
Now I'm ready to be a writer (although I am of course still a mother and still a teacher) but I am having trouble narrowing down exactly what I want to write about.
So I am going to use this space to "test out" the various ideas competing in my head and hope some theme emerges that I can run with.
So that's it. A much less artful version on my first day. I hope this one doesn't get lost.
Marilyn's daughter, well this is who I am. She is a part of everything I do.