valentine's fairy

Last night the Valentine's fairy came to our house. She left a gift wrapped in pink tissue paper on the table for Mira, Eli and Jeff. Meanwhile, unbeknown to me (the actual Valentine Fairy) a different fairly had left a gift for me as well. "She" hid clues around the house starting at the coffee maker (she apparently knows my addiction quite well). I followed the clues, smiling all the way (quite a rare occurrence before I've even had my first cup) until I was led back to the drawer right next to the coffee maker. Chocolates. Truffles from the new store in Hollywood. This is a family where magic is real.

We are so lucky. In Laura's book she writes about her earliest memory. It is of her mother Norma dressing up as the tooth fairy. I knew very much my whole life that I was loved. I understand that this is lucky and beautiful. I met a baby this week who is not loved. This is perhaps the greatest tragedy I have ever seen with my own eyes. But, still no fairies ever came to our house.

This little family of ours stands so much in contrast to the one in which I grew up. Loving your children is of course the number one priority. But when you bring magic into their lives you are infusing them with more than love. I want Mira and Eli to grow up to be strong and independent for sure. Strength and independence are important, it's something that our parents taught us in spades. We got that. But, unlike the Blumenfelds, we didn't get magic. We didn't get the sense that we were worth the effort it takes to create those magical moments. And we didn't have parents who created them for each other.

In the end maybe it doesn't matter. Norma and Dave got divorced. Although only once, and once Hal and Laura were already grown. The magical family collapsed just as surely as the ordinary family. But Laura, well lets take a look at Laura.

She is one of the people that you meet who absolutely guides through life. She was always pretty, popular and smart. She speaks Hebrew and Arabic fluently. She cares passionately about the world and loves her family. She has deep friendships, is successful professionally (did I mention she has a book published that was actually reviewed in the New York Times), she is rich, has three beautiful children, and actually in fact married the cute guy from camp. The one all of the girls had a crush on. The counslor that all of the girls had a crush on.

Growing up we made fun of the Blumenfelds all of the time. They were so needy. Both of them had a constant need to be in the spotlight at all times. When they were around we Graubarts faded a bit. Our successes were less, our failure illuminated. Mom used to tell us that we were much more normal than they were. We understood that life was about ups and downs and struggles, successes and failures.

Okay, maybe this is true. I'm not sure why the Graubarts are constantly learning this but I'd say at this point we know it. Too well. But excuse me if I want something different for my children. I'd like to infuse some "Blumenfeld" into their lives. Let them believe in magic. Let them think that success is the norm and failure is the exception. Let them think that changing the world is what they can do. Of course they can!